It has never been my intention to try and please everybody. Actually, it has always been my intention to try and not displease anybody. Which, as it turns out, is much harder work. It's like Zoloft for human interacting. Cutting off the highs and lows, the risks and the results just so no one walks away from me with a passionate enough of an understanding of what they liked...or for what they didn't like.
And I'm not gonna go head to head with those of you who might disagree with me, but I will say, if you have been living your life trying to be irrelevant, then, you probably know what I mean. Trying to get along, trying to get by, trying not displease anyone in the way of your latest high. It's certainly no easy task, being irrelevant.
Since I have grown tired of this silly little game, I think its time I became relevant, or irrelevant, depending on who you ask. Because the perception will go both ways. 50 percent of the people will hate you for it and 50 percent of the people will love you for it. But 100 percent of you will be true, to you. If we only worry about those who will love us for our relevance or irrelevance then we are just trying to please, and if we only concentrate on the 50 percent that will disagree on us, then we will only be concerned with our own demise in the eyes of others. It's time, for me...and maybe for you too, to stop caring what others think and just 'be'.
When everyone agrees on you, you become even more irrelevant. You disappear. That's why there are 5 words for good, and 5000 for bad. Which is why I'm not really interested in who and what agrees on me. I think I owe it to myself and to others to disregard the opinions of the 50/50 draw. Living life creatively and passionately while writing a negative life review of it simultaneously, is a great way to live unhappily. Of course it will take some time to stop being aware of being unaware. But I think that's wherein lies the beauty. Finding yourself, being content with yourself, and creating your life as it comes at you.
Do you see what I am saying? It's time to risk it all on life and how I want to live it. Because if I don't, I think I'll disappear. And maybe the best way to get to where I want to be. To disappear for a while, to be a aware of being totally unaware, and to consider the consideration that life IS what we make it. It all depends of who you ask, I suppose. But what I'm suggesting is that we don't ask anybody. We only ask ourselves. If you are not sure of what you love, and can be swayed by other peoples opinions, that means you can be talked out of it, and that's probably the scariest notion of all. Find out what you love, be it a piece of art, what city to live in, what job to have, what sandwich to have, or what underwear are comfiest, find whats good for you. No one else can tell you whats best for you, except you.
Is your boyfriend cute? Were your parents always right? Should you take that promotion and move to India? Are you going to wear that hat out? Was I wearing "mom" jeans the other day, or were they just high wasted pants?
Depends who you ask.
Which is an excellent reason to stop asking all together. Nobody's life goals, views, or shoes will ever be exactly like your own. And in those times where all you seem to do is clash with the answers you are asking, it is then that you will have to walk alone. Sound scarey? Sure. But if you do it with just the right of confidence and self-assurance, you might just find that you know whats best for you.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Live each day like it's your last...
Maybe it's just me but, I don't accept the notion of "live each day like it's your last". Mainly because that kind of advice would get me arrested on a daily basis. Because if someone told me it was my last day, you better believe I'd be like "No WAY, pal. It's my last day! I'm gonna live it up!"
It's so limiting and arresting. It keeps us in limbo. Only living for one day, everyday. Never looking forward, never dreaming, never reaching around your own current situations and your thoughts to see a better, brighter, more vibrant future. If you only live for the day, you only ever live one day, in essence, because of course, you are living one day at a time, every day, consecutively, not concurrently.
And I also have to believe that (for me, anyway) it would often lead to a lot of carelessness and foolish behaviour. If we are under the notion that everyday is, or very well could be our last, then, in theory, there would be no consequences. Which is why I say, my 'last day' would get me arrested. Living for each day, singular, would lead to so much disconnection. Would we ever really connect with people?! With OUR people? I really don't think we would. I know I'd be out doing shit. Nothing in particular, just shit I wanna do. Shit that I haven't done yet. I'd sing somewhere, I'd travel somewhere, I'd probably get silly on some drinks, and what the hell, it's my last day, experiment in the art of hallucinating. Actually, I probably would skip the drugs, wouldn't want to shorten up the last day just because I got a little over zealous with some funny mushrooms.
But if we live each day like we are going to live forever, then we have all the time in the world to accomplish what we want to accomplish, see what we want to see, and do everything we want to do. It would leave so much open air time to just 'be'. To be in each moment, big or small. Whether it's a coffee with a friend, or dancing naked on the Eiffel Tower, we'd be 'in' every moment and not just getting through each moment to skip on to the next. And if we are just living for the moment or the day, are we really aware or conscious of what kind of reverberations will be felt by out actions?! Probably not. So living for the moment is fine, as long as you are aware that chances are you are probably going to be here tomorrow to see the results of your actions. Because it is nice to be able to be free and be doing what you want when you want, as long as you aren't deliberating hurting anyone along the way. Scratch that, as long as you aren't hurting anybody along the way, deliberately, or otherwise.
And maybe this has nothing to do with the saying, and maybe it has everything to do with it. I think, collectively, so many people have lost touch with the human emotion. We do. We don't often 'do' with great thought. We have become a very thoughtless culture. Always in go-mode and never just 'in' life. We speak but aren't heard. We listen but don't hear. And we all want to walk around saying "I don't care what ______ has to say about me. I don't care what anyone thinks of me".
But the truth is, we care. We care ALOT of what others think of us. But instead of appearing affected or hurt or whatever the emotion may be, we send out the thug version of ourselves as soon as we feel threatened. Our badass version of ourselves feels nothing. But, as much as I'd like to say "I don't care what anyone thinks of me", I can't. I'd be lying. I do care what people think of me. I would like to leave this world, if this were my last day, with the respect and love of others. With the people I care about, caring about me. I think I've been doing this for a long time, and I think I am pretty done with it now. The thug works most of the time. Once we have settled on not caring about the world around us, we never really feel how it affects us in a negative light. But the sad part is, we never really feel how it affects us positively either. Or how it has the ability to move us. Or how we have the ability to feel passionate about something; a beautiful piece of music, a fantastic savoury meal, a piece of art, the comfiest socks, whatever. Point is, if we never really feel, we never really live. We coast, but that's not living. I've grown tired of coasting. I'd rather 'feel' whatever is to come my way. And I guess in saying that I'm opening myself up to feel hurt, vulnerable, exposed, etc. But, I'm also opening myself up to feel moved, and passionate, and loved. And I think that's a pretty great thing.
So a more appropriate way of putting it, for me, would go something along the lines of "live for the day, but not only for that day, you gotta live for the big picture".
It's so limiting and arresting. It keeps us in limbo. Only living for one day, everyday. Never looking forward, never dreaming, never reaching around your own current situations and your thoughts to see a better, brighter, more vibrant future. If you only live for the day, you only ever live one day, in essence, because of course, you are living one day at a time, every day, consecutively, not concurrently.
And I also have to believe that (for me, anyway) it would often lead to a lot of carelessness and foolish behaviour. If we are under the notion that everyday is, or very well could be our last, then, in theory, there would be no consequences. Which is why I say, my 'last day' would get me arrested. Living for each day, singular, would lead to so much disconnection. Would we ever really connect with people?! With OUR people? I really don't think we would. I know I'd be out doing shit. Nothing in particular, just shit I wanna do. Shit that I haven't done yet. I'd sing somewhere, I'd travel somewhere, I'd probably get silly on some drinks, and what the hell, it's my last day, experiment in the art of hallucinating. Actually, I probably would skip the drugs, wouldn't want to shorten up the last day just because I got a little over zealous with some funny mushrooms.
But if we live each day like we are going to live forever, then we have all the time in the world to accomplish what we want to accomplish, see what we want to see, and do everything we want to do. It would leave so much open air time to just 'be'. To be in each moment, big or small. Whether it's a coffee with a friend, or dancing naked on the Eiffel Tower, we'd be 'in' every moment and not just getting through each moment to skip on to the next. And if we are just living for the moment or the day, are we really aware or conscious of what kind of reverberations will be felt by out actions?! Probably not. So living for the moment is fine, as long as you are aware that chances are you are probably going to be here tomorrow to see the results of your actions. Because it is nice to be able to be free and be doing what you want when you want, as long as you aren't deliberating hurting anyone along the way. Scratch that, as long as you aren't hurting anybody along the way, deliberately, or otherwise.
And maybe this has nothing to do with the saying, and maybe it has everything to do with it. I think, collectively, so many people have lost touch with the human emotion. We do. We don't often 'do' with great thought. We have become a very thoughtless culture. Always in go-mode and never just 'in' life. We speak but aren't heard. We listen but don't hear. And we all want to walk around saying "I don't care what ______ has to say about me. I don't care what anyone thinks of me".
But the truth is, we care. We care ALOT of what others think of us. But instead of appearing affected or hurt or whatever the emotion may be, we send out the thug version of ourselves as soon as we feel threatened. Our badass version of ourselves feels nothing. But, as much as I'd like to say "I don't care what anyone thinks of me", I can't. I'd be lying. I do care what people think of me. I would like to leave this world, if this were my last day, with the respect and love of others. With the people I care about, caring about me. I think I've been doing this for a long time, and I think I am pretty done with it now. The thug works most of the time. Once we have settled on not caring about the world around us, we never really feel how it affects us in a negative light. But the sad part is, we never really feel how it affects us positively either. Or how it has the ability to move us. Or how we have the ability to feel passionate about something; a beautiful piece of music, a fantastic savoury meal, a piece of art, the comfiest socks, whatever. Point is, if we never really feel, we never really live. We coast, but that's not living. I've grown tired of coasting. I'd rather 'feel' whatever is to come my way. And I guess in saying that I'm opening myself up to feel hurt, vulnerable, exposed, etc. But, I'm also opening myself up to feel moved, and passionate, and loved. And I think that's a pretty great thing.
So a more appropriate way of putting it, for me, would go something along the lines of "live for the day, but not only for that day, you gotta live for the big picture".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)